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That tan is a rental too

This guy decided it wasn't an economically smart move to purchase a tan that he'd only wear for 1 or 2 nights at most so he went with the rental option. You might think that he got a really bad tan, but actually that tan fits pretty well for one right off the rack. He should've made sure that his tan fit well in the part that was most visible, his face, but what self respecting tan salesman would let him walk out of the store with an ill-fitting tan like that. At least he only has to wear it for 1 night.

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I can't stop laughing at this idiot, one look at his pale hairline and I'm rolling around on the floor. He looks so serious too, probably because he doesn't know that he looks like a clown. I don't think it's even possible to get this orange by accident, you'd actually have to aim for orange. He's so shiny too, I wonder what kind of car wax he used to get that polished look. Since he's obviously not smart enough for a job that uses a brain but he might have shot at a career detailing cars. If he can get that type of shine on his forehead just think about what he could do with a nice car. Now that I think about it, Lamborghini's come in orange, it would be a match made in heaven. Look at that, make this inspirational story into a movie and you've got an academy award. Big deal, been there done that.
An Idiot Went Sunless Tanning
I'm really unsure on this one. The two on the right definitely look a little orange, but the one on the left looks normal so I can't really tell if it's the lights or not. That's kind of irrelevant because I think the girl in the middles face more than makes up for my lack of certainty on the tans. How do you even make a face that awkward, unless that's what she was aiming for? That's the sort of face you make when you're not enjoying yourself but still have to smile for a picture because someone's forcing you to. I've got it narrowed down to either her mom or her boss taking this picture, but those are the last two people on Earth anyone should go to a club with.
Orange Girls or Orange Lights
This woman is seen modeling her new look in front of her kitchen cabinets. She might be too dark, but I give her points for how even her tan is. At first I almost thought she looked a little like Chewbacca with her hair and the color of her skin but then I realized that Chewie would never wear a pink belt.
Spray tanning can get scary
Keep in mind that only 10 minutes ago she had exactly the same skin tone as her friend. Fast forward 10 minutes and she's got a nice spray tan, which is why she's doing the duck face. Before she got her tan she was way too classy to ever pucker up for a photo, now she's just as trashy as the rest of the trailer park residents that have duck faces in their profiles on facebook. Shame on you, why would you want to bring another duck facer into the world through spray tanning? Tanning salons should require a class test to get spray tans. If you can't identify what all 47 types of different dinner forks are used for you probably shouldn't get a spray tan. And if you can identify them all you're probably too classy to get one anyway. Everybody wins.
Orange Tan Girl

Pretty fly for a white guy

Compared to those tan guidos he's got no game, but compared to the every other white guy at the party he's got more game than Milton Bradley. The one point flaw in their collective games is the cigar, unless you are extremely wealthy and have a voice like Sean Connery you shouldn't pretend to smoke cigars. The fact that they spend more than 5 minutes on their hair should automatically disqualify them from smoking cigars. That guy on the right even did a kissy face, a cigar is way out of his league.

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Yup, that's right, the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority now has locations on other planets. Why else would such a weird looking member be doing the super secret hand gestures with Earth members? I've seen enough History Channel shows to know that she probably hails from the Cygnus A galaxy because of her preference for bright colors. I'm just surprised that the Zetas could hide their connection to aliens for so long, the ones I've met didn't seem like secretive people. I would've thought they could keep this secret for about a day and a half before they all started blabbing and gossiping about it. Maybe that's their trick, they talk and gossip so much that by the time they get to the part about aliens you've stopped listening. Well played Zeta Tau Alpha, well played.
Z.T. Phone Home
I don't know who she is, but that's definitely an A-list tan. You don't see minor celebrities with fake tans like that, those B and C listers usually go pure orange or get splotchy coverage. Although you almost never see a pale hairline like that on a real celebrity if she goes around pretending she's an A-lister eventually some people might start believing she is, like Kim Kardashian. Not me though, I've caught on to their games.
The orange carpet
There isn't a single pale person in this entire photo, it's full of tan people. It's like they purposefully excluded all the pale people from their tan person party, that's discrimination. I know a thing or two about tan discrimination, because every now and then I've gotta include a pale person on the website to keep my lawyer satisfied. I'm sure we could beat the lawsuits because I'll claim the pale person was taking the pictures, that's way beyond a reasonable doubt. All this lawsuit talk has got me thinking I should get a lawyer that didn't graduate from Harvarrd, or at least one that can pass the bar without going in it.
A Bunch of Tan People
It all started as an innocent game of hide and seek, but once these two became 'it' the game changed completely. It's now been stepped up a notch because who wants to be caught by these two, nobody. This is the beginning of a horror movie where 10 friends win a trip to a deserted island to play hide and seek but what they don't know is that being found means death. Of course it has all the typical horror movie flaws like why don't they just swim off the island, or why don't they all stay together and fight these monsters? It's actually still taking place but I won't try to save them because I'm upset I didn't win the trip. The monsters really don't scare me, I've seen worse.
Hide and Seek

Spray Tanning Addiction

Thanks to the TLC channel I've seen some pretty disturbing addictions, but the spray tanning addiction is by far my favorite. Who cares about the woman that eats toilet paper when you've got this idiot that thinks she needs to stay tan during the winter. If she just moved to a place where it's sunny all the time, like Hawaii, nobody could even tell she had a horrible addiction. On a related note, do they even have indoor tanning facilities in Hawaii?

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Everyone always has this idea in their minds that when they go spend a day at the beach they'll wake up the next morning with a perfect golden tan. Well it's not that easy, and it almost never happens through luck alone. If you want that perfect tan you need to plan, calculate the angles, work out a rotation schedule, check the radar forecasts, and hit the jackpot of lucky in the genetics dice roll. This dude did none of that and still expected good results, that amount of naivety is almost laughable. He had sun, he can obviously tan, and the angles might've sucked but I think the weakest part of his game was his rotation schedule. He should head to his nearest chicken place to watch the rotisserie and get some tips.
It Doesn't Always Work Out Well
This post brought to you by the letter D. If you thought that one duck face was bad enough then you should just go hide because it seems they're multiplying. At this speed, in 10 years, the president of the United States will be doing the duckface in pictures, and I don't want to be around for that. I think Facebook should create a duckface filter that deletes any image with a duck face in it. Sorry actual ducks, it's for the best.
Double Duckface Dimwits
It seems like Way2Tan readers seem to get lots of tan lines, why just last week we had another submission of a t-shirt tan line. Well, here's another one, but this guy doesn't seem as cool as the other one. He had to take the photo himself, so I know that he doesn't have any friends. Another clue is that shower curtain, what kind of dude has a fancy shower curtain? Answer - One with no friends. Well that's all about to change because he's now my friend for making my 'job' a little easier by sending me this pic. This is the feel-good post of the fall.
Reader Tan Lines
These girls are on their way to attend another rager, that's their fourth this week. That's too many, but not for the reasons you'd think. Four parties a week is standard practice for straight-A students, but four ragers a week is impossible. For a party to be considered a rager it has to be absolutely out of control. The guest list should expand exponentially, drinks ought to flow like a waterfall, houses have to be demolished, cops must be called, noise violations need to pile up and last but not least, the mess has to take at least 72 hours to clean up after you're released on bail. You see, with at least 3 days between parties they can attend a maximum of 2 ragers a week. I'm not saying they can't party 7 days a week, they can and they should, I'm saying their claims of raging everyday are false.
Time to Rage

This party is totally lame

Sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm taking a class about knitting down at the local high school, it's gonna be awesome! No, I don't care that there are 4 girls to every guy at this party, I really want to make a scarf. Seriously, I wouldn't go to this party even if there was an ice sculpture of David Hasselhoff. Don't worry, I hear this knitting lesson is going to be off the hook, if I'm lucky there might even be some Bingo. I know where all the flyest parties are because I'm a G, 27.

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I hate when I walk into a party and have no idea whose birthday it is, I guess that's why they call them surprise parties. I would assume it's a party for the tannest girl in the middle since the photo made it here but I'm not sure. However I do like that they arranged themselves from least tan on the outside to tannest in the middle, nice work girls. I also have to congratulate them on an amazing job decorating for the party. Those triangles on a string make the place look absolutely fabulous and that beige slipcover really brightens up the space. The big surprise had better be that she doesn't have to spend her birthday in this place. Quick, blow out some candles and wish for it.
Whose Birthday Is It?
That man right there has the greatest tan I've ever seen. I hope that one day I might be lucky enough to sport such a magnificent skin tone. It's most definitely not fake at all, he only used some baby oil to make it glisten naturally like that. Look at those abs, the symmetry is astounding, the way those massive arms bulge so perfectly compliments his well defined legs. This might just be the most attractive man to ever walk this earth. I don't think I can do this anymore, I'm begging you please don't shatter my spine with your huge muscles, I have to say this. Your tan is completely fake, your head is out of proportion with your body, you have absolutely no neck what-so-ever, and can't you find a better way to show off your legs than by wearing a thong?
Please Don't Hurt Me!
Who'd have thought that sunscreen would actually protect you from the sun? Look at that burn on her shoulder without sunscreen and then take a gander at her face and neck, big difference right? Some of that difference probably comes from the angle the sun hits her skin at, but that can't be enough to go from serious sunburn to perfectly fine in a matter of inches. That's the power of sunscreen, hopefully she can learn from this experience. Next time she has the sunscreen out to put some on her face she will definitely remember to put some on her shoulders. Otherwise the sun will politely remind her she's an idiot because that's what it does.
Wow, Sunscreen Really Works!
This surely took tons of work to pull off. First of all, he had to cover his body with some sort of stickers to cover the pale parts from the sun. Second, he had to spend hours upon hours outside wearing those body stickers. He either did that or, with little effort, stickered himself up and spray tanned. He probably did the second option, but it still looks really cool. Me, I just wear a watch and when I see the tan lines I say I was going for a watch tattoo from the start. I really wasn't, but try to prove it. I'm also really good at the shoe tattoo.
Tan tattoos are cool