She's Already Got a Fake Tan

Since she's already got a fake tan she might as well get those breast implants. What harm could it possibly do? Who cares that you have to go down to Mexico because the US doesn't allow crazy people to get elective surgery, I hear Mexico has some great doctors. How do I know they're great doctors, because we went to the same schools. You know you're getting a high quality education when your alma matter's name ends in .com. I never did take the plastic surgery courses, maybe I should go back for an eighth doctorate. Maybe it's too much work for too little reward. It's not like a person needs more doctorates after they've been knighted. Remind me again, do credentials in Narnia transfer to this world?

Similar tanners:

That's a spray tan, just look at her forehead, but what really stands out is those eyes. She definitely kept those goggles on during her tanning session. This might be one of the worst glasses tan I've ever seen. Other than the lapse of judgement on her forehead and around her eyes her tan looks pretty even but the worst is her choice of clothing. I'm no Raccoonologist, but it almost completely matches a raccoons color and pattern. If I was at this party I would have to contain my laughter, at the wallpaper in that ugly kitchen.

Who invited raccoon eyes?

I've been taking this art class lately and haven't been able to come up with a good idea for my large marble sculpture project, problem solved. I took my inspiration from the other famous marble sculptures such as naked guy, discus man, lady without arms, and thinking dude and based my work on the human form. This is the picture I'm using to base my work off of, now how am I going to incorporate the biker's tan lines into my marble sculpture? Maybe I can use two different shades of marble and glue them together, marble's not that expensive? Wait a minute, I thought marble was more expensive than that. I think I accidentally typed marbles instead of marble when I purchased my supplies. Guess I'm going to have the first sculpture ever made out of marbles. Time to buy more glue.

Depressed Biker With Tan Lines

He can never wear shorts shorter than his knees now because of them, but his tan lines aren't the worst thing about his legs. It's that tattoo, what kind of man gets a flowery tattoo, men are supposed to get tattoos of dragons spewing fire around swords and on the side there's a skull exploding because a bear punched it. That's a manly tattoo, not this flowery stuff, it could only get worse if he had a tribal tattoo around his arm. I don't even have to see them because based on his legs his arms probably have horrible tan lines and a My Little Pony tattoo.

These Tan Lines Aren't So Bad

This guy decided it wasn't an economically smart move to purchase a tan that he'd only wear for 1 or 2 nights at most so he went with the rental option. You might think that he got a really bad tan, but actually that tan fits pretty well for one right off the rack. He should've made sure that his tan fit well in the part that was most visible, his face, but what self respecting tan salesman would let him walk out of the store with an ill-fitting tan like that. At least he only has to wear it for 1 night.

That tan is a rental too

1 Comment on this post

Aurora2012-12-29

Sehr geehrter Herr Volken,ich banedke mich noch einmal ffcr die sehr interessanten Erle4uterungen in Ihrem Museum am vergangenen Samstag Mittag (21.01.). Als selber als Inhaber einer orthope4dietechnischen Firma beruflich mit Schuhen und Ffcssen Befasster, war ich sehr fcberrascht, wieviel Forschung in der Arche4logie in der Verwendung und Konstruktion von Schuhwerk fcber die Jahrhunderte/ Jahrtausende betrieben wird. Diese zwei Stunden bei Ihnen, haben mein Schuh-Bild erheblich vere4ndert.Vielen Dank daffcr.Freundliche GrfcsseVolkmar Bente

She's Already Got a Fake Tan

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