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She's Already Got a Fake Tan

Since she's already got a fake tan she might as well get those breast implants. What harm could it possibly do? Who cares that you have to go down to Mexico because the US doesn't allow crazy people to get elective surgery, I hear Mexico has some great doctors. How do I know they're great doctors, because we went to the same schools. You know you're getting a high quality education when your alma matter's name ends in .com. I never did take the plastic surgery courses, maybe I should go back for an eighth doctorate. Maybe it's too much work for too little reward. It's not like a person needs more doctorates after they've been knighted. Remind me again, do credentials in Narnia transfer to this world?

Since she's already got a fake tan she might as well get those breast implants. What harm could it possibly do? Who cares that you have to go down to Mexico because the US doesn't allow crazy people to get elective surgery, I hear Mexico has some great doctors. How do I know they're great doctors, because we went to the same schools. You know you're getting a high quality education when your alma matter's name ends in .com. I never did take the plastic surgery courses, maybe I should go back for an eighth doctorate. Maybe it's too much work for too little reward. It's not like a person needs more doctorates after they've been knighted. Remind me again, do credentials in Narnia transfer to this world?


Similar tanners:
There's nothing cooler than having your own sexy sunbrella chick following you around with a constant supply of shade. So far a horde of women has already applied for this job, but I've had to turn them all down because I don't own a single sunbrella. All I've got are normal rain umbrellas, and everyone knows you can't use an umbrella as a sunbrella. Another key element of my selection process will be to find the palest chick I can, not someone tan like this girl. Why, because she wouldn't be tan if she was correctly supplying shade all day long? The only reason this girl hasn't been fired yet is because she doesn't own a shirt with buttons.
I Need a Sunbrella
This is the 200th picture on Way2Tan.com. Hooray! Ok celebration over, there are still way too many bad tans to make fun of and so little time. This girl has a really dusty looking fake tan that is so bad her friend rubbed some off by giving her a kiss on the cheek. She should probably wash her mouth now, that can't be good for you. This is priceless, you can even see the little tan ring around her mouth where it rubbed off on her. It's kinda like a chocolate milk mustache except it's extremely nasty and probably causes cancer.
That's a bad tan
That is one foxy lady, not exactly like the one Jimi Hendrix sang about but more like an actual fox. The horrible orange fake tan wasn't enough for her, she needed to take her look to the next level, and what's cooler than fox whiskers? The answer is nothing, there is absolutely nothing cooler than looking foxy. While maybe you can look a little cooler if you add some flower and heart shaped stickers under your eyes, but why would you need to do that? Maybe she's a foxologist presenting a paper about her work on imitating foxes. That doesn't sound likely, so maybe she's trying to become a new comic book hero that is a mild-mannered accountant by day and a fox enthusiast by night? Skip the comic book, I'm ready to make the movie. I call dibs on the part of Foxy Lady's arch nemesis, Malicious Mongoose.
Foxy Lady
At least I hope they're costumes. This happens to me all the time though, my great intentions always find a way to backfire. It always happens when I ask what gender a baby is or compliment a woman on her pregnancy. In my clients defense all babies look the same and how was he supposed to know that nine times out of ten it's a burrito or baggy clothing. Sure, baggy clothing. I'll continue to assume these two dressed like hookers sarcastically up until I get yelled at for making fun of them. Hey, at least I assumed the best case scenario. Okay, that's enough. From now on I'll make no assumptions except for the babies, put me down for 25 on blue.
Nice Costumes
1 Comment on this post
Aurora2012-12-29

Sehr geehrter Herr Volken,ich banedke mich noch einmal ffcr die sehr interessanten Erle4uterungen in Ihrem Museum am vergangenen Samstag Mittag (21.01.). Als selber als Inhaber einer orthope4dietechnischen Firma beruflich mit Schuhen und Ffcssen Befasster, war ich sehr fcberrascht, wieviel Forschung in der Arche4logie in der Verwendung und Konstruktion von Schuhwerk fcber die Jahrhunderte/ Jahrtausende betrieben wird. Diese zwei Stunden bei Ihnen, haben mein Schuh-Bild erheblich vere4ndert.Vielen Dank daffcr.Freundliche GrfcsseVolkmar Bente

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