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How to Tan Your Butt

Buy a tanning bed of course, but there's also a much more realistic option for those of us that are too poor to buy one. It even works if you're poor enough that you're forced to eat macaroni and cheese for every meal, I know from experience. This guy knows the trick, the only way to tan your butt is to pull down your pants and shine some light on it, but there's a risk involved, and it's what we in the business call an indecent exposure arrest. The typical fine for something like that is about $500, or so I've heard. So if you find yourself frequently exposing your butt in public trying to get a tan you should know that if you get caught twice you'd be better off buying a tanning bed. Don't worry, the police never catch anyone for this, if you can run fast enough all they get is a generic description of a suspect 'Male with white buttocks', but remember to pull up your pants before you make a break for it.

Buy a tanning bed of course, but there's also a much more realistic option for those of us that are too poor to buy one. It even works if you're poor enough that you're forced to eat macaroni and cheese for every meal, I know from experience. This guy knows the trick, the only way to tan your butt is to pull down your pants and shine some light on it, but there's a risk involved, and it's what we in the business call an indecent exposure arrest. The typical fine for something like that is about $500, or so I've heard. So if you find yourself frequently exposing your butt in public trying to get a tan you should know that if you get caught twice you'd be better off buying a tanning bed. Don't worry, the police never catch anyone for this, if you can run fast enough all they get is a generic description of a suspect 'Male with white buttocks', but remember to pull up your pants before you make a break for it.


Similar tanners:
This seems like a really cool way to get semi-permanent body art. It looks sort of like scarification but much cooler because you don't need to get your skin all cut up, you just lay in the sun for awhile. The only thing I'm not sure about is how crisp the tan lines would be if you're using a loose-fitting shirt.
Sun Tattoo: Awesome Tanning Idea 		I really hope this is a fake tan because it's hilarious if it is, but it's almost too ridiculous so I've got to cover my bases. I don't want to take sides on this one because if it turns out she has some horrible skin condition or is naturally that dark skinned I'll feel really stupid. I'm pretty stupid to begin with, but I'll feel even stupider if I'm proved wrong here. I'm talking conclusive proof, not some guesswork from an amateur picture evaluator. I need to see DNA results, 3 forms of government ID, her 4th grade family tree project, and her credit card statements before I laugh hysterically. I bet her credit cards will show that she's bought tons of fake tanning products, but I want to be on the safe side.
Please Let This Be a Fake Tan 		Thanks to the TLC channel I've seen some pretty disturbing addictions, but the spray tanning addiction is by far my favorite. Who cares about the woman that eats toilet paper when you've got this idiot that thinks she needs to stay tan during the winter. If she just moved to a place where it's sunny all the time, like Hawaii, nobody could even tell she had a horrible addiction. On a related note, do they even have indoor tanning facilities in Hawaii?
Spray Tanning Addiction 		This is the first device I've ever seen that allows you to tan only your feet to eliminate your sock tan lines. It's pretty genius actually, millions of people suffer every year from pale feet and there's always been a solution at the tip of our fingers with tanning bed technology. Now you don't have to spend countless hours outside walking around in your bare feet to get rid of sock tan lines. The company's market is surprisingly specific, they advertise specifically to older golfers living in Florida, probably because they wear golf shoes too often and are too old to realize it's extremely overpriced at $230 a unit with $50 shipping. If you're out there in Florida wondering how to tan your feet I've got $300 worth of advice for you, 'Go outside and walk around bare foot'.
How to Tan Your Feet
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