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Funny Tan Lines

You guessed it, that farmers tan is pretty funny, but what really hilarious here is his hair. Look at that exquisite mullet-combover combo, that is one impressive haircut. You won't see a single guido that's courageous enough to pull off this hairstyle. They all spend 30 minutes trying to make their hair look perfect while this guy looks like he spends 30 minutes trying to make it look terrible. Soak it up people, you won't see a worse haircut than this windswept combover. That's the best kind of combover/mullet. Here's some advice to you dude, take that shirt off and lay around on the beach for a couple days, then get some scissors and go to town on your hair. It doesn't matter how badly you mangle it with your cutting because then you go to a hair salon and shave it all off. Sometimes it's best to start from scratch than to try and work with something like that.

You guessed it, that farmers tan is pretty funny, but what really hilarious here is his hair. Look at that exquisite mullet-combover combo, that is one impressive haircut. You won't see a single guido that's courageous enough to pull off this hairstyle. They all spend 30 minutes trying to make their hair look perfect while this guy looks like he spends 30 minutes trying to make it look terrible. Soak it up people, you won't see a worse haircut than this windswept combover. That's the best kind of combover/mullet. Here's some advice to you dude, take that shirt off and lay around on the beach for a couple days, then get some scissors and go to town on your hair. It doesn't matter how badly you mangle it with your cutting because then you go to a hair salon and shave it all off. Sometimes it's best to start from scratch than to try and work with something like that.


Similar tanners:
Cats couldn't care less about spray tanning, but it is like catnip to certain humans. You know who I'm talking about, the girls like this that always have a constant glow about them. It's because they're high. Yup, I've researched extensively and determined that a small portion of the population get the same effect from spray tanning that you'd see in a heroin user. It's extremely complex science with charts, graphs, numbers and everything so don't bother asking because you wouldn't understand it. The take home is that you should never allow a spray tan user to operate heavy machinery, and while inconclusive it is extremely fascinating that they show an increased aptitude for sending encrypted text messages.
Spray Tans are Like Catnip
I see he's trying to get rid of his tan lines with an impromptu beach visit, well at least it was a good effort. He had the right idea up top so those tan lines should be reduced, but his shorts are too long and will prevent any upper thigh tanning. It's a shame because that's what he really needed, look at the difference between the pale parts on his arm and leg. You can only get rid of tan lines with more revealing clothing, which makes tanning one of the slowest and most awkward games of chicken ever. Eventually he'd have to go to the beach with a speedo to get the smallest tan lines, but by then he'd be about 58, that's when it gets awkward for everyone.
It Was a Good Effort
She's juicing. There, I said it. There's no way she could get a tan like that without a needle and a syringe. While there is a way but it involves massive amounts of money wasted on spray tans and she seems like the type that would go for a long term solution. What she uses is called Melanotan, and I don't really understand it so I'll call it a tanning injection, but I do know that whatever magic it works inside your body has to have consequences. For one thing, nobody can ever take you seriously looking like this, I know I can't. You've also got to consider the way it will affect the information you write on your census papers and job applications. Can she really check the 'white' box? I guess some people will do anything to get better at nighttime hide-and-seek.
She Must Use Tanning Injections
Just by looking at him I can already tell it's not a bear, shark, lion, or any other ferocious beast because he would run away screaming like a girl, so the back of his shirt would be ripped. Judging by his forehead tan line from spray tanning he's not really the outdoorsy type, so it must've been some creature normally found inside. Got it, the vicious creature that did this to his shirt was a moth. It's the perfect animal for the job because not only is it known to eat clothes, they also like to be in closets, just like this guy.
What Animal Attacked His Shirt?
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