FeedFacebookTwitter©2012 Way2TanWay2Tan guy is an orange that got too tan and is now angry about it

Before and After Bad Tanning

I always enjoy a good before and after comparison photo because the people inevitably look nothing alike, but not this guy. Some tanning salon probably wanted to show off their state-of-the-art spray tanning facilities so they hired this guy to be their test case. It's looking' pretty good guys. The tan is nice and even and it's not too orange, there's no… wait a minute, who forgot to spray his face? 
What were you thinking, that people wouldn't recognize him as the before guy if you covered his face too, that his white face would show off a bit of contrast to his body, or did you really just forget to spray some tan on his face? Dear Salon Owner, your ad will deter people from visiting your salon, way to go.

I always enjoy a good before and after comparison photo because the people inevitably look nothing alike, but not this guy. Some tanning salon probably wanted to show off their state-of-the-art spray tanning facilities so they hired this guy to be their test case. It's looking' pretty good guys. The tan is nice and even and it's not too orange, there's no… wait a minute, who forgot to spray his face? What were you thinking, that people wouldn't recognize him as the before guy if you covered his face too, that his white face would show off a bit of contrast to his body, or did you really just forget to spray some tan on his face? Dear Salon Owner, your ad will deter people from visiting your salon, way to go.


Similar tanners:
Just from one quick glance I know she won't like a week long skiing vacation. She doesn't know what she's gotten herself into with the beyond freezing cold, the constant falling down, and the layers upon layers of thermal underwear. Her friends have an uphill battle ahead of them as she slowly looses enthusiasm about going down hills and questions why they didn't go to a beach instead. They'll head straight for the black diamonds where she can't follow them with her pizzas and french fries. If there's one thing I've learned about skiing from the two times I've done it it's that too many french fries will get you into trouble, and I'm not just talking about diabetes.
The Wrong Vacation
Her friend is a bit tan, but I'm more interested in what she's got on her resume. I know that on mine I've got at 2 separate sections about my paper hats and the qualifications they give me. So far I'm a burger king and a newspaper sailor so I'm wondering about her hat and what it means. I've been looking to add to my already impressive 48 page resume and I think that hat looks easy enough to make so I'll include it. It doesn't look like it has a specific use so I'll wear it and call myself a fashion editor for a magazine. For those of you wondering if these qualifications need to check out, they don't. When you have a 48 page resume it's practically guaranteed they hire you regardless of what's on the pages. They also know experience like that doesn't come cheap.
Check Out Her Resume
I'm not quite sure what's causing my nausea but I've narrowed it down to either this poorly rotated picture or her incredibly dark tan. Let's tackle the picture first. Who does this? No seriously, who in the entire 6 plus billion people on the world doesn't know how to take pictures in one of the two widely accepted formats? Turns out the angle caused more anger than nausea so it must be the tan now, right? Her tan's dark but I've seen worse. It's evenly dark as well so I don't even feel the disappointment I get from tan lines or splotchy fake tans. That leaves only one option, her hair. It's way too long. I know that doesn't seem like it could cause nausea over the internet but just picture stray hairs everywhere, how many donations she could be making to locks of love, and her shower drain. Getting that feeling now aren't we?
This Makes Me Nauseous
I know what you're thinking, that she's trying to do the duck face, but she isn't. Here's a couple seconds to guess what she's really doing... Time's up, she's trying her hardest to hold her breath. All the best models know that holding your breath makes you look miles skinnier in the middle, bigger on the top, and thinner in the face. She doesn't quite have the training to make it look like the model face instead of the duck face, but I'll give her points for trying. Then I'll take those points right back because places where you poop are never good photo opportunities, and she didn't even bother to tan the top or her forehead. All things considered I think you can flush her modeling career right down one of those toilets.
Surprisingly Not a Duck Face
2 Comments on this post
Derp2012-05-20

Pic's photoshopped, unless that salon also does perfect tattoo removal/reapplication. Check out how his tats are magically on opposite arms in the before and after.

Stu Nelson2012-05-03

Hey, at least the tanning process switched his tatoos on the correct arms, and unmirrored his shorts so "Corona" can be read. Not sure if I prefer his one weird peck be on his left or right though.

Leave a Comment


Name:
E-mail:
Comment:
Type this number: 581