Awesome Tan Tattoo

Just when you thought you couldn't make the argument for spray tans over tanning beds more conclusive you see some gun tan lines. Spray tans win hands down because you don't risk getting cancer, but now they win because they're more gangsta. Actually you could do this with a tanning bed, but it would be a lot harder. With a spray tan you can get in, get your tan, and get back to your gang activities without missing a beat. People that would make fun of you for spray tanning will think twice about messing with you once they know you're strapped. I wouldn't push your luck because although they'll think twice, when they're done thinking they can probably beat you up.

Similar tanners:

I'm curious as to which girl would stand out more in a crowd, so let's run through the bullet points. Hair: The redhead wins this round hands down, since she's pretty tall you could find her instantly in a large crowd. Face: Tan girl all the way, you just don't see that many orange people anymore. Lips: It's a tie because they both share a lipstick tube, disgusting. Clothing: Now this is where it gets interesting, red hair has what looks like a cocktail dress while the tan chick is more business casual. This is a close battle but I'm gonna have to give the edge to the redhead. In a professional setting the orange girl would look ridiculous, but the red hair looks ridiculous anywhere but a punk concert.

She Looks Different

I can only imagine how many laughs their children have had over this photo. You know that lesson about being young and stupid, this is worth 1000 of those words. Normally everyone envies fitness models for their bodies, not this time. If this is the amount of shame I'd have to endure for a quick buck showing off my rock hard muscles for some stupid workout machine, count me out. There's only one workout video I'd want to be a part of, that is the Brazil Butt Lift DVD that has infomercials on at 3am most nights. Why, because the video only has women. Even I could get that job after a sex-discrimination claim. The only problem is that I couldn't provide a before photo for the comparison, my butt has never looked anything butt perfect. There was that one time in 2003, but that's behind me now. Butt humor is the best.

This Better Be From the 80's

Tan lines are as American as apple pie, Nascar, and obesity. Nobody gets more tan lines than Americans, and we should be super proud of that fact. We don't have many nude beaches, we have shirt and shoe policies everywhere, and we've got the largest population that wears shirts while swimming so tan line are practically in our blood. I thought this was the land of the free but we're not even allowed to tan our entire bodies, what is this communism? Better get my guns and fight Washington for the right to tan because this is outrageous. I'm pretty there was a specific clause in the constitution about this exact issue but I can't find it at the moment so I'll paraphrase, 'No person shall have four score and seven tan lines'. John Hancock signed it so you know it's legit.

All-American Tan Lines

Oh look, it's another tan bodybuilder, what a surprise. While a tan bodybuilder is nothing new, this one's coloring looks more natural. Gasp!. He probably spends 3 hours a day working on his muscles, 3 hours working on his tan, and the remaining 18 hours checking himself out in every mirror in the gym. If this idea of natural tanning catches on with other bodybuilders the entire fake tanning economy could collapse.

Surprise! Another tan bodybuilder

1 Comment on this post

Destiny2012-12-29

You can but it attracts the UV rays and can be even worse to skin caencr. You should really really read up on skin caencr because tanning beds are really good at giving people that When your DNA is destroyed it tries to build new DNA but makes mistakes sometimes and it is very confusing but once you learn about it you will learn that it is SO easy to get caencr this way.You are at risk to get it every single time you are in the bed.I wouldn't go more than 2 times a week and not all year round. Take breaks.

Awesome Tan Tattoo

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